Stages of Marriage To A Typical Filipino Couple

To a Filipino couple who commit themselves to a relationship through marriage, indeed, the phrase "till death do us part" is kept for a lifetime. Note that, since the Philippines is a predominantly Christian nation, there is no premise that allows for a divorce to occur after marriage. Nowadays though, a couple who jumps into the bandwagon of marriage and later realizes that the union has no future due to "irreconcilable differences" has an option to file for annulment as an exit door to end the relationship. It should be noted however that this exercise of freeing oneself from the bonds of marriage is only for a few couples who have the money to spend for the litigation and the stamina to endure the long process.

With that it's a common occurrence for couples to just endure one another throughout the relationship for as long as they live. Now, let's take a look at the bigger picture. Granting that a union despite being a rocky relationship will still manage to flourish, these are the typical stages that many Filipino couples go through from the courtship stage until post marriage.

1. "I love you and that's all that matters" stage.This is the stage in the relationship wherein all that abounds is love. At this amorous phase, the guy treats the girl like a princess, and the girl sees the guy as "Mr. Perfect". It is expected that all good things that can possibly happen in a relationship happen at this stage. This is also the stage wherein both individuals are blinded about the flaws of one another.
   
   
2. "I thought you were ...but you aren't" stage.This is the stage wherein the cloud of affection slowly lifts off and shines a bright light on the couples awareness, thus, the flaws will now be slowly noticed and noted as well. At this point the relationship starts to lose its sweetness and is replaced by sour demeanor and bitter resentments. This is like the awakening stage. This is where battles are fought and whoever can withstand this stage has a better chance of making it to the finish line--that is live with each other "till death do us part".
   
   
3. "You weren't what I thought you were...but what can I do" stage. This is the third and last stage, which is like the calm after the storm. At this stage of the relationship, the couple has finally gotten used to each other's flaws and has learned that their individual differences is only meant for them to complement one another. This stage is the acceptance stage. It is at this stage that the couple realizes that there's no point in tearing down the union. The only thing that's left is an invitation for each other to walk with each other and uphold the relationship till the end of their days.
   

Stages one and two are so typical of any relationship. The only difference is, some culture has reserved an exit door for couples to take when things really get out of hand. Sadly, for the many Filipino women who suffer in a relationship, there's no other way than to proceed to the third stage. On the other hand, being forced to go on with the relationship for as long as the couples live have made it possible for a lot of Filipino children to have a family that is whole and one they can call their own. There is a down side to it too, and that is the trauma that it brings about when there is too much hostility in the relationship.

Nevertheless, let me say that this cultural upbringing has influenced a lot of Filipino women to remain faithful, and hold on to a marriage for as long as they can. Ever wonder why some men from highly liberated societies would opt to come to the Philippines to marry a Filipina? That's a pretty much precise judgement based on the fidelity factor, but let me clarify one thing though. If you are one of the guys that I've pointed out above and you're thinking that the Philippines has a huge market of wife-material women, think again. Faithful isn't synonymous to being a responsible wife or being a good mother. Just like the women you find in your place, women in the Philippines also come in different packages. There are good, there are bad. In this day and age, cultural exposure through all kinds of media greatly influences a woman's views, values and morals. So what might have been so typical before may no longer be typical after all.