The Tale of the Flat Nose: By One With Spread Toes

Funny as it is, I see a lot of people being brought to this blog spot all because they searched for 'flat nose' and something like that. I wonder if it is an honest search about a real 'flat nose' or a mere keyword for a site like mine which has the words 'flat nose' in the page title.

Anyway, just to give in to the situation, I would like to share the tale of the flat nose, as narrated to me by one of my 'not so gentlemanly' teachers in the engineering department.

According to him, Filipinos have flat noses because they weren't there when the maker distributed the noses. Filipinos are known for being procrastinators and late-comers. In fact, Filipinos have their own time which is at least 15 minutes later than the actual time coined as the 'Filipino time'. Ask five Filipinos on the street about what time it is and you'll be surprised that no one will have the same time. Why? Filipinos almost always set their watches to a different time customized to fit the time allowance they want to have on a daily basis. Some will move their time thirty minutes early such that when it says 9 o'clock on their watch, the actual time is still 8:30, thus, giving them an extra thirty minutes to sleep, to chat, to eavesdrop and to procrastinate. That is just the kind of life the Filipino is so used to--a very laid back lifestyle. Filipinos are even often represented by 'Juan Tamad' (lazy John) who would choose to rather sleep under the tree and wait for the fruit to fall to the ground than take the courage to pick the fruit from the tree itself.

So the tale went on. One day, God summoned all the blacks, the whites, and the browns, specifically, the 'Pinoys' to come so they can pick up their noses. The noses were all nicely arranged for everyone to pick from, and of course the first ones to come had a wider selection to choose from. The Filipinos received the message on time, but didn't act accordingly. They procrastinated. Meanwhile, the blacks and the whites came on time and were able to try every nose on and picked out whichever nose they wanted. When the Pinoys came everyone else has left, since the sun was already setting down. There were still some nice noses left that were not necessarily flat but they were on the top shelves and the 'Pinoys' being short, height-wise, have no choice but to settle for noses that were within their reach. Sadly, those noses were the ones that fell on the ground and were stepped on by the people who came earlier, thus, they were flat. And since it was already getting dark, the Pinoys just settled for whatever noses they found on the ground. That's how the Filipinos ended up with their flat noses according to the tale.

What about the spread toes? It's basically the result of wearing flip-flops/slippers all the time. We don't wear shoes. It's too hot in the country. It's much comfortable to air out our toes all year long in a tropical country like ours where 100 degrees Fahrenheit is normal temperature.

Do I feel bad that I have a flat nose? Absolutely not. Being able to breathe comfortably is more than I can ask for. Besides, whatever size or shape of nose you have, for as long as it is proportionate to your face, will always look fine and remarkably real on you. So cheer up flat nose!